better

"teha friendly"

komen kak su time cakap pasal 1st impression. rasa best plak usrah hari tu, lepas group usrah di rombak menjadi lebih kecil (which in my opinion is a good thing coz bile makin sikit makin banyak ruang nk bercakap). anyway, banyak kite baru tahu bile taaruf ari tu. before this, rasa mcm da kenal da semua orang, tapi tak kenal betul2 mendalam lagi macam apa yang dia suka & tak suka, hobi, latar belakang dll.

cute right?

i love cute 'stuff'

lama tak dengar orang komen kite friendly. selalu dengar pendiam, tapi suka senyum (heh. bukan gelak bangga, tapi tiba2 rasa nak gelak) & sombong pun ada. anyway, that comment trigger something. membuatkan kita terfikir...

i used to be very periang and optimistic. a person who is not ashamed of herself. who used to be so proud of herself, not because she thinks highly of herself, but because she made her parents proud, her family and her friends. 

but now i've become this quiet, paranoid and insecure person who nak face orang pun tak berani, apatah lagi nak 'friendly' dengan diorang. i'm not the person i used to be. semuanya sebab kena terminate study kat czech. dulu, i'm used to people looking up to me, expecting big things for me & nothing made me happier than fulfilling those expectations.

well, time changes people. little by little i've grown immune to the fact that i can no longer study here in czech,   and have to repay mara untuk setahun blaja kat sini coz dengar boleh bayar masa keje (it better be true). no longer care much about what other people think of me, i mean the negative ones.(but of course i still care what they think but not that much now) little by little, i'm back to being the old me. maybe not fully the old me, but i'm getting there. but most importantly i'm trying my best to become a better person, may it be the old or new me, i'm certainly going for the better me insyaallah :)

lagu yang dilayan ketika 'down' hari tu. 

as much as i have regretted everything that happened, i know allah's plan is the best. i think regret is not a useful word now. mengambil pengajaran is better right? i'll stay positive insyaallah.  :)

"we're sorry but there is an error while processing your video". k, fine. semangat save kat lappy. nah, kat bawah ni boleh tengok :) 

p/s: kalo perasan, sekarang taip eja penuh & jarang shortform. heh (ok, ni gelak bangga)