x penah start entry dgn salam kn? tbe2 teringat nk start with one.
hmm, lama x b'blog. baru je lps exam bio. x lps jgk. tp xpe, slh sendiri. tbe2 ade semangat baru nk studi btol2 bg lps. x, bkn sekadar nk pass je, tp nk buat yg terbaik.
semangat? buat yg terbaik? honestly, these words have been so asing to me since.... entahla, x ingat. time btol2 punya, like really2 semangat & struggle gle2 adalah time spm. masa kt kmb & even now kt czech, studi gitu2 je. not 2 say that i didn't put any effort ms kt kmb & czech, its juz dat my effort 2 sgtla sket compare 2 rezeki yg allah bg. truthfully, x sangka pn bole fly. truthfully x sangka pn bole lps ib (+ masalah TOK). truthfully x sangka pn bole survive smpai skang. the thought of giving up 2 dtg countless time. x sanggup rasenya nk hadapi exam yg x setel2 lg ni. rindu yg t'amat sgt kt rumah kt malaysia. slalu wonder, mara kasi tukar course x? pastu belek2 surat offer mara. mmg x blh. giving up medik meaning kena byr blk sume. byr blk bkn sj menyusahkn parents, tp penjamin pn akan dikejar kn? da la dorg xde kena mengena. then i realise giving up wasn't so easy after all. sapa kata give up 2 senang? bkn 2 je, mana nk ltk muka kalo kwn2 famili lain sume taw. hu3. nk xnk, t'paksa paksa diri utk teruskn. i know ,sound so pathetic kn? hu3. tp skang sket demi sket sy sdg cuba btolkn niat. kak umol, serta kwn2 & x lupe famili byk membantu dlm proses regaining my semangat. terima kasih ya allah 4 giving much more than i deserve.:')
semangat? buat yg terbaik? honestly, these words have been so asing to me since.... entahla, x ingat. time btol2 punya, like really2 semangat & struggle gle2 adalah time spm. masa kt kmb & even now kt czech, studi gitu2 je. not 2 say that i didn't put any effort ms kt kmb & czech, its juz dat my effort 2 sgtla sket compare 2 rezeki yg allah bg. truthfully, x sangka pn bole fly. truthfully x sangka pn bole lps ib (+ masalah TOK). truthfully x sangka pn bole survive smpai skang. the thought of giving up 2 dtg countless time. x sanggup rasenya nk hadapi exam yg x setel2 lg ni. rindu yg t'amat sgt kt rumah kt malaysia. slalu wonder, mara kasi tukar course x? pastu belek2 surat offer mara. mmg x blh. giving up medik meaning kena byr blk sume. byr blk bkn sj menyusahkn parents, tp penjamin pn akan dikejar kn? da la dorg xde kena mengena. then i realise giving up wasn't so easy after all. sapa kata give up 2 senang? bkn 2 je, mana nk ltk muka kalo kwn2 famili lain sume taw. hu3. nk xnk, t'paksa paksa diri utk teruskn. i know ,sound so pathetic kn? hu3. tp skang sket demi sket sy sdg cuba btolkn niat. kak umol, serta kwn2 & x lupe famili byk membantu dlm proses regaining my semangat. terima kasih ya allah 4 giving much more than i deserve.:')
slalu sedar that i'm so blessed 2 have such great people around me. people with admirable iman, great akhlak and yg plg memberi kesan is their warm support. their support, yesss.. (juz thinkin about it buat sy rase sgt t'haru) although sometimes i didn't reply ur msj or wallpost fb or skype or ym. pliz know that i'm so touched. pliz know that sy syg sgt kt kwn2 sume & famili. at first, i thought i didnt want 2 dissappoint the people i love with unending bad news. dat's why i kept "ignoring" questions regarding my exams. lately, sy slalu lari dr masalah instead of facing it. bcoz facing it seems to hard & running seems so easy. tp lari punya lari , masalah x ilang, it will still follow u & end up getting bigger. but then, i realised that, bknnye sbb i didn't want 2 dissappoint them, tp sebab nk jaga hati sendiri. xnk hati rasa sakit ble jawab "x lps". xnk rasa malu sbb x lps. xnk dianggap bodoh sbb x lps. xnk dianggap x cukup b'usaha. xnk dianggap mls. seee, ego btol. kononnya sbb xmau bg jwpn yg mengecewakn, tp sebenanya sbb i didn't wanna hurt my pride.
then, i got used 2 'running'. lari dr g exam sbb taw x cukup studi, lari dr jmpe org sbb takot dorg tanya psl exam, lari dr angkat kol/reply msj, basically lari dr masalah. in all that running, taw je the following consequences, aware je masalah akan jd lebey bsr, tp still mcm 2 gak. ha3. mmg terok.
ntah mcm mana ari ni allah kasi kekuatan utk b'dpn dgn org. & it wasn't that bad after all. slama ni dok takot, kept protecting that useless pride from being hurt. although rase malu 2 still ade ble jwb "x lps", tp the "remedy" afterwards is much sweeter. kata2 support 2 sgt la touching...
i will try not 2 run anymore & FACE my problems. kena semangat & buat yg terbaik. insyaallah. semoga allah beri aku kekuatan. amin..
btw, i think i know why my english makin terok, sbb terlalu concious about it. b4 dis, tulis dgn yakin je pe yg t'lintas which kadang2 dlm english without thinking about the grammar. skang tulis english sket, check grammar. ntah, psl t'lebey b'hati2 rs cm english mkn terabor. ha3. tbe2 rase nk baca buku english, bg confident blk with my english. coz skrg gile korea, lagu & cite english da x lyn da.
ye, ini mmg sesi meluahkn perasaan. certain org, die privatekn blog kalo meluahkn perasaan. certain org (like me) x privatekn. well everybody have their own reason, lgpn my blog segelintir org je yg taw & sy segan kdg2 nk btaw my true feelings & if they wanna know about it they can find out about it here. ;p k, out. peace.
ye, ini mmg sesi meluahkn perasaan. certain org, die privatekn blog kalo meluahkn perasaan. certain org (like me) x privatekn. well everybody have their own reason, lgpn my blog segelintir org je yg taw & sy segan kdg2 nk btaw my true feelings & if they wanna know about it they can find out about it here. ;p k, out. peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment