hmm, indeed it was.. at first, dgn seronoknye syaitan m'bisikkn, "ko penah dgr mende ni, watpe dgr lg", "nanti ko rase diperli lg (pdhal itu adalah kata2 dr allah!! hey, kalo allah x syg u, die xkn bg u ujian & siap bg nasihat lg. but y do u take it da negative way??)", "kalo x ikhlas watpe g, sia2 je"..bcoz i know 4 da fact dat, if u do something bkn dgn hati yg ikhlas, ia adalah sia2 di mata allah. (then, melalui pengalamn sendri ia xkn kekal lama, bcoz u do it sbb manusia..) i've always thought that, saye ni kalo dipush, lg akan rebel.. kalo wat mende x ikhlas, we only end up feeling x puas ati or t'paksa. i was shown that i was wrong AGAIN.. seryesly, everyday is a self discovery. also, da more u learn about others, da more u learn about urself. Slalu je dgr, mule2 t’paksa, lama2 ikhlas la. Well, honestly x penah pecy pn dgn dis phrase, tp ble b’laku kt dri sendri.. ha, br hg taw!
warning: dis post gonna b a long one~ da try nk pndkkn, tp xleh, byk sgt nk luah..
funny how ur tear gland can break so easily.. dlu cm pelik, nape la ade org ni sng sgt nangis, sket je bole nangis.. now when it happened 2 u.. pe cer? ha3. i do surprisingly surprise myself. Even ayat yg kte slalu dgr, da bole wat air mata trun dgn laju. X agak2 btol, ade org lak 2 kt sekeliling. Sy ni leceh sket, once da start nanges ssh gle nk bent, mmg perlukn kekontrolan dri yg sgt kuat. Psl idung b’air 2 x yah ckp ar, smpai ade akak yg offer tisu. Peerghhh, mane nk ltk muke.hu3.
actually sy takot nk ckp, sy tkt nk tnjk pe yg sy rs, pe yg sy tahu.. coz, I’m too afraid dat I will not do what I had said. Sy lebey selesa b’diam dri & m’dgr org b’kata2.. from there, i learn so much..
"da more quiter u r, da more u can listen" (x ingat dpt dri mane, tp i like it) =)
“namun, hanya sedikit daripada kamu yg b’syukur” dat does it.. instead of rs diperli (in not a good way), kali ni sy rs sgt sebak yg amat . Betapa x b’syukurnye daku, slalu dikelilingi shbt2 yg baik, slalu didengarkn dgn pengisian rohani. Tp bisikn syaitan yg diikutnye.. sigh~ pdhal, dr dlu lg da diberi p’dedahan dgn sume ni… betapa x b'syukurnye kamu fatihah.. our winter story, meluangkn masa with these great sisters & hearing all of these "ayat2 cinta", makes me feel so..... can’t really describe it with words.
dlu x phm sgt dis phrase "kalo cwn yg penuh dgn air, kalo kte isi lg dgn air, air 2 akan tumpah. jd kosongknla cwn, sebelum nk ltk air" ok, fine i'm not really good at memorizing da exact word. but 4 me, yg penting u FAHAM pe mksdnye.. kalo kte rs kte taw sume i mean byk bende, we tend 2 jd mls nk dgr mende yg konon kte penah dgr 2.. hmm, it really hit me dat time. walopn kte penah dgr mende 2, but sometime we need 2 hear it again, coz u will get a more deep & refreshed understanding.. =)
then, ade ke pemuda mcm sultan muhammad al-fateh & salehuddin al-ayyubi. well, i strongly think there is.. ;) walopn maybe x sehebat mereka, tp sdh cukup utk m'buatku kagum..
t’ingat lak ceramah mlm jumaat kt kmb dlu(asik2 t’ingat). Kalo sorg 2 nk wat baik, tp sume org kt sekeliling die wat jht, xke ssh die nk wat baik. Pastu, kalo sorg 2 nk wat jht, tp sume org kt sekeliling die wat baik, x ke ssh die nk wat jht. Ofkos, die akan nk wat baik gak kn sedikit sebyk. See, ur environment do play a part. so, trying 2 create a good environment at home wouldn’t b dat hard rite? After all u always got allah as ur supporter, always~ =)
see, abah i do wear da coat u bought 4 me.. ;) (tp xnk abah bc my blog, segan r plak eden) cume i look funny in it & ofkos bulat in it. ok, i noe jgn dislhkn bju.. fine~ (pasni, xnk amek gmba sgt la.. T_T) plus, mane de org pkai yg btol "ketak2" like da one i'm wearing, but i do appreciate it. sy hargai sume hadiah yg org bg, so bgla sy hadiah, 4 sure sy hargai!! he2.
owh, did i 4got 2 mention i went skiing? (da konfius between skate & ski. skate gune kasut tapak die nipis & tajam. ski guna tapak leper & pnjg. ingat 2 fatihah =_=) yeah, its a tough sport. especially skiing. ble jth 2, sgt ssh yg amat nk bgn. sbb tapak die pnjg sgt & not 2 mention very slippery. pastu, mestila ski kt gunung kn, so mestila ade curam sket2, bape kali gak r, laju je "ski" ke bwh. syok mmg syok, kalo nk jth kt pokok2 & segala mende alah kt bwh bukit 2. so, kena la jth dgn style eh sengaja utk mengelakkn bhy. ye, kami ade praktis jth. cane? juz rebahkn bdn anda ke snow yg maha sejuk itu & u did it!! ok, sume org ley buat~ =_= anyway, arini i juz can't seem 2 stop m'gigil. tgk org lain rilek je, i mean x dela gigil2 like me, terasa over lak. da try xnk nmpk obvious sgt, tp ade gak yg perasan.. sori, bkn nk menunjuk sejuk sgt, tp refleksi semulajd bdn, (shivering helps 2 generate heat during decrease in temperature kn.. so, i guess dat's what happen 2 me..) try gak nk control, tp ble da lupe xyah control gigil, bdn gigil blk. ish3..blk2 ni, aim mmg nk tgk suhu bape kt laptop. negative belas2!! no wonderla beb... T_T even ms tulis ni pn dlm bilik, pakai sweater, heater x function ke pe?! *emo tbe2.
my god!!! mata kiri sakit gle nk mati! asik b'air & xleh bkk.. literally. ble sejuk tbe2, start merah2, ble pns tbe2, mulela ngade2 nk merah. skang menanggung seksa. ble mata merah, idung pn b'air. mule la sok sek, sok sek.. ade org ingat nk nangis (well, maybe part of it) eh, tbe2 t'ingat ms tulis ni(x plan pn nk tulis, mmg slalu die akn dtg sendr ms tulis), allah bg kte sakit kn utk kafarah dosa. ye, p'hapusan dosa. rs seronok lak tbe2, coz taw dosa sgtla byk.. tenkiu allah... =)
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